Microkhan by Brendan I. Koerner

A Rare Growth Industry

March 12th, 2009 · 1 Comment

peppersprayThere’s little doubt that as Depression v2.0 inevitably worsens, civil unrest will become more commonplace. Even the august New York Times is letting aged stock pickers pop off about the need to stock up on canned food and shotgun ammo. So don’t be surprised if your neighborhood occasionally comes to resemble Bartertown.

But in madness lies opportunity. More violent clashes between protesters and coppers means more pepper-spray usage. And that’s good news for manufacturers of decontaminants such as BioShield and Sudecon wipes. Many riot police also carry plain ol’ Lactated Ringer’s solution as backup, too.

The homebrew remedy for pepper-spray exposure is whole milk, and plenty of it. So perhaps Depression v2.0 will go a little way towards rescuing the troubled American dairy farmer. You want to save the Wisconsin economy? Encourage your pals to go out and riot. Just make sure they get rowdy enough to merit a good sprayin’.

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