Even in their wildest schemes, the Soviets likely never contemplated the invasion of America. Okay, maybe they would’ve liked to bite off an Aleutian Island or two. But sweep into the Heartland and bring the word of Lenin at gunpoint? Yuri Andropov wasn’t exactly Genghis Khan, in terms of expansionist vision.
But, oh, how Hollywood wished it were otherwise, at least during the mid-’80s. Red Dawn gets most the nostalgic ink, but there was a cottage industry in “The Russkies are coming!” paranoia during Microkhan’s formative years. And no slab of media made as much of an impression as Amerika, which depicts the United States ten years after a Soviet takeover. The trailer above, which highlights the prominent roles played by Kris Kristofferson and Mariel Hemingway’s eyebrows, is pure comedy gold in retrospect, particularly for the unironic use of the phrase “I don’t even know you any more.”
Then again, is the fact we’re writing these words an indicator that our guard is down? Is Microkhan falling into Putin’s trap? And if the Russians do come, will they really insist on having tinted windows for all their vehicles?