Microkhan by Brendan I. Koerner

Microkhan and the Lawsuit King

May 26th, 2009 · 7 Comments

It’s not often that Microkhan has a personal stake in the day’s big news. But the curious case of Jonathan Lee Riches, a.k.a. Irving Picard, is a notable exception. Riches, a federal inmate doing a stint for wire fraud, has apparently passed the time by engaging in a most curious hobby: Filing as many frivolous lawsuits as he possibly can. He’s now up to 4,000 by his own count, and openly boasts that he “flush[es] out more lawsuits than a sewer.” (Yes, that analogy makes no sense when you really think about it, but you get the jist.) Yet Riches seems none-too-amused by the Guinness Book of World Records‘ attempt to name him the most litigous person on the planet. And so, predictably, he’s suing the book’s publisher.

So where does Microkhan fit into Riches’ tale? We’re proud to say that we’ve been on the receiving end of his legal wrath, along with such luminaries as Bill Belichick, Martha Stewart, and I Can’t Believe It’s Not Better. The image above is from his December 2007 filing against us; the complaint reads in full:

I get no medical treatment in solitary. My ankle got twisted, I weigh only 120 lbs. at 5 ft. 10 inches. Defendant is responsible. Defendant is violating my civil rights. I seek $4 million.

You can read the full document in all its Adobe Acrobat glory here: Riches v. Koerner.

Somewhat to our chagrin, we never got our day in court. Due to the sheer volume of Riches’ lawsuits, a federal judge in South Carolina slapped a special restriction on him—unless he could come up with a pretty high filing fee, Riches is forbidden to proceed. Needless to say, then, none of his cases have gotten very far.

But he’s due out in 2012, and his personal brand couldn’t be hotter right now. We smell an appearance on Celebrity Fit Club.


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7 Comments so far ↓

  • Settlement Loans

    I was reading some of these lawsuits he filed, it’s a good way to kill some time and they actually have some merit to them, regardless how stupid they are!

  • buskertype

    My sister was a clerk for a federal judge for a while and gave me a photocopy of a lawsuit he filed in her court. It was a work of art, tying together the mining industry, the prison system, Osama Bin Laden and a few local scandals that I can’t really imagine how he heard about. It included the detail that the president of the Sago mine sat in a tree outside his prison window and confessed his crimes.

    They rejected it because he hadn’t paid the filing fee (something like $25.)

  • Brendan I. Koerner

    @buskertype: Yeah, that’s the thing. They slapped a restriction on Riches, so that he couldn’t even get out of beta unless he coughed up some dough. Needless to say, then, all of his suits have died on the vine.

    Given the intricacy of the Sago mine suit, I’m actually a bit disappointed that his complaint against me was so vanilla. Guess I’m too much of a small fish to merit his greatest feats of imagination.

  • minderbender

    Irving Picard is the trustee in the Madoff case. I guess it’s unsurprising that this guy is leading a double life. Just be happy you got a civil rights complaint and not a clawback of your Madoff money.

  • Brendan I. Koerner

    @minderbender: Wow, supreme coincidence. What’s really strange is that “Irving Picard” isn’t Riches’ real name–he concocted that alias. Pretty random alias to come up with–perhaps he’s a ST:TNG fan?

    And, yes, I made millions in the Madoff scheme, and that money has made Microkhan possible. Shhhhh, don’t tell anyone…

  • Before I Let Go

    […] these last few days? So much good stuff, dear reader, so much good stuff. We’re talking hilariously frivolous lawsuits against your humble narrators, the launch of the Now the Hell Will Start paperback, a lingering […]

  • Law Suit Loans

    They actually have some merit to them, regardless how stupid they are!