Microkhan by Brendan I. Koerner

And Speaking of Basketball…

June 12th, 2009 · 6 Comments


For this week’s Bad Movie Friday, we’re gonna hit the proverbial layup and call out 1997’s Double Team. (Tagline: “He’s a one-man arsenal…with enough voltage to rock the world!”) The film is notable primarily for oddball hoopster Dennis Rodman’s scenery-chewing co-lead performance, opposite Jean-Claude Van Damme on the verge of sliding into his cocaine phase. We not-so-fondly recall catching this abomination on cable some years back, and walking away from the experience with a Slurpee-like brain freeze. That said, we do give the final fight scene points for overkill—Mickey Rourke versus Van Damme in an empty Roman coliseum, featuring both huge explosions and poorly CGI’d maneating tigers. We kid you not.

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6 Comments so far ↓

  • Gramsci

    Is there a name for movies whose porn version could keep the original title? It’s a select cinematic taxon.

    “Does your hair change color when you sweat?” Someone got paid actual, honest-to-God money to write that.

  • Jordan

    @Gramsci

    I think it depends on how creative you want to get with the innuendoes. As many of us have found over the years, almost anything can be dirty if you think about it the right way.

  • Brendan I. Koerner

    @Gramsci: I think you need to coin a term for that. And then trademark it.

    First flick that popped to my mind:

    http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0311289/

  • Gramsci

    @Jordan
    True, there are cases that aren’t obvious but are close enough with a little imagination, e.g. Beckett’s “Endgame.”

    @Brendan

    X-essible ™ is the best I got for now, but it seems a shame to waste the title-related adjective “titular.”

  • Jordan

    @Gramsci

    This also extends easily into the world of science. “Backside attack” was always my favorite.

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