One of the greatest movie-review slams we’ve come across in recent months is Nathan Rabin’s brutal takedown of I Hate Valentine’s Day, the latest project from My Big, Fat Greek Wedding mastermind Nia Vardalos. The whole pan is full of choice insults, but the apex comes in the kicker: “If the comic strip character Cathy were to make a movie, this would be it.”
We share Rabin’s loathing of Cathy and her strip, which struck us as deeply, almost embarrassingly unfunny even during our grade-school days. And so imagine our mix of horror and glee upon discovering that America’s “favorite” neurotic singeton starred in a made-for-TV animated special back in 1987. Based on the few minutes of alleged comedy available in the clip above, we knew we’d stumbled upon an ideal candidate for Bad Movie Friday. (Yes, we realize that a TV special may not precisely qualify as a “movie,” but cut us some slack.)
All of the lazy “men are like this, women are like this” jokes you know and hate are on display here, as well as dubious notions about the societal worth of women who refuse to settle for obvious duds. That said, we wouldn’t be wholly unopposed to an NC-17-rated update on this material—perhaps what’s missing isn’t necessarily sharper humor, but more explicit eroticism.