Bananas week ’round here, as we put the finishing touches on our addiction opus for Wired and prep for a much-needed vacation. (If anyone knows of must-see attraction on Michigan’s Upper Peninsula, please advise.) So we’re gonna float into the weekend by reviving our Bad Movie Friday feature, which has been absent from these pages for far too long. Fortunately, we’ve been saving up a gem—a particularly laughable entry from Frank Zagarino‘s surprisingly extensive filmography. Though he’s best-known for his ’80s cheese, Zagarino has taken zero time to rest upon his B-movie laurels over the years. The clip above is from 1998′s Armstrong. We know of few films that better portray the hazards of humanity’s polylingualism. Enjoy.