Microkhan by Brendan I. Koerner

Landing on Planet Mercury

August 31st, 2010 · 2 Comments


Unlike everyone’s favorite intergalactic MC, I am not bio-enhanced. And that means I must occasionally steal a day to focus on a single project, rather than multitasking as if I’d been blessed with multiple brains. Today is such a day, which means no meaningful Microkhaning ’til after the next sunrise. Apologies, and hope y’all understand.

I will leave you, though, with a bit of beer history. There was apparently a time when Meister Brau was marketed as a classy beverage, a campaign bolstered by the brand’s wise decision to enlist the services of gorgeous chanteuse Barbara McNair. Yet this was before Miller purchased the brand in the early 1970s, and turned it into a product for imbibers whose pockets contain only a few spare nickels. As a result, Meister Brau is now but a shell of its former self—and borderline toxic for anyone who dares toss it down their gullet. The reviewers over at Beer Advocate pull no punches:

Only consume this ice cold. Doesn’t taste like much of anything at ~35 degrees F or lower. If it warms, it becomes face wincing bad, as the flavors of corn grits, cooked cabbage and wet cardboard seep in. Things only go downhill from there. Bitterness is there for the whole ride, with a weighty metallic flavor that’s bolstered by the beer’s fizz. Finishes clean if ice cold. If not, residual flavors of metal and corn grits linger for far too long in the mouth.

Still, it sounds better than Mamma Mia! Pizza Beer.

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2 Comments so far ↓

  • Jordan

    Speaking of landing on Mercury, you might find the comic Nine Planets Without Intelligent Life pretty amusing. It’s about our solar system, populated by sentient robots, after humanity has died out. Two robots living on Mercury decide to drop out and take a road trip. The story is organized by the planets they visit as they move further out into the solar system. Unfortunately it isn’t updated very frequently, but the archives are fun if you have an hour or two to kill.

    http://www.bohemiandrive.com/comics/npwil.html

  • Brendan I. Koerner

    @Jordan: Thanks for the tip–really enjoying the comic over coffee this a.m. Will have to work my way through the entire archives soon.

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