For the year’s first installment of Microkhan’s much-beloved Bad Movie Friday feature, I was sorely tempted to call out Cindy Crawford’s disastrous attempt to evolve from model to mactress: 1995’s Fair Game, not to be confused with the recent Plame Affair dramatization of the same name. But I decided to shift course upon reading Crawford’s credits and realizing that she actually went to the feature-film once more after Fair Game‘s flop—though she did have the good sense to do so overseas. The not-so-pretty result was Guardie del copo (Bodyguards), a slice of Italian slapstick that (to be charitable) doesn’t quite translate. The clip above reels off a succession of the film’s key pratfalls; a more salacious trailer can be found here, and should only be played if you’re in a place where gratuitous semi-nudity won’t get you fired.
You can also do a close read on Crawford’s dubbed-in acting chops by watching this clip. To her credit, I kind of like the way she reels off the proper noun “Napoli.” And I have to surmise that this movie does a surprisingly good job of summarizing the trashy aesthetics of Berlusconi-era Italy—a topic thoughtfully explored in 2009’s Videocracy (also NSFW, alas).