It’s always a bit sad to see one of your childhood idols reduced to hucksterism. Yet such appears to be the case with the legendary Eric Dickerson, who once performed wondrous feats for my beloved Indianapolis Colts. Now years removed from the limelight, Dickerson today earns a living by peddling belts that purport to unclump blood cells (or something like that). The company’s real sales target is not the end consumer, necessarily, but rather folks who yearn to become “authorized dealers”—a business strategy straight out of Amway 101. Yet those who would contemplate joining the MagicBelt family would be well-advised to check out the clip above, in which Dickerson promises a piece of an thirteen-figure pie. Beware the casually hyperbolic.