Microkhan by Brendan I. Koerner

A Scrappy Monolith

November 13th, 2012 · 6 Comments

The object above washed ashore in the Hawaiian district of Ka’u last month, and has remained immobile ever since—no great surprise, perhaps, given that it weighs an estimated seven tons. State authorities are now in the process of two vital tasks: Figuring out how to dispose of the monstrosity, and figuring out what the heck it might be. The former mission will involve chopping up the object into bite-sized chunks that can then be airlifted away by helicopters; the latter will require the wisdom of someone well-versed in the taxonomy of gargantuan yellow things.

Are you that person? Care to hazard a guess as to what the object might be? I am leaning toward the Monolith hypothesis, which would indicate that alien super-beings are actually much less elegant craftsman than Arthur C. Clarke had envisioned.


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6 Comments so far ↓

  • Captured Shadow

    Looks to me like the loops on the sides would be good for a giant net or positioning ropes. The odd shape on top makes it look like it was supporting some other structure, like maybe this was used in Japan to float some other piece of equipment into place like a bridge span or something. But the ONLY explanation that makes sense is that it is ALIEN Technology :)

  • Brendan I. Koerner

    @Captured Shadow: Strangely, Hawaiian authorities have stated that the object is not tsunami-related. Not sure how they came to that conclusion–maybe an absence of Japanese characters?

    A friend pointed me toward this photo, which suggests that the object could be part of an oil rig. But seems like there would be some identifying mark, correct? Hmmmm…

  • Chris Labarthe

    My money’s on this being a promotional stunt for Del Toro’s Pacific Rim


  • Brendan I. Koerner

    @Chris Labarthe: Stringer Bell versus giant monsters? Count me in.

  • Chris Labarthe

    “the taxonomy of gargantuan yellow things” #romneyvsbigbird

  • Brendan I. Koerner

    @Chris Labarthe: You might just compel me to add a “Like” button to Microkhan’s commenting system.