The object above washed ashore in the Hawaiian district of Ka’u last month, and has remained immobile ever since—no great surprise, perhaps, given that it weighs an estimated seven tons. State authorities are now in the process of two vital tasks: Figuring out how to dispose of the monstrosity, and figuring out what the heck it might be. The former mission will involve chopping up the object into bite-sized chunks that can then be airlifted away by helicopters; the latter will require the wisdom of someone well-versed in the taxonomy of gargantuan yellow things.
Are you that person? Care to hazard a guess as to what the object might be? I am leaning toward the Monolith hypothesis, which would indicate that alien super-beings are actually much less elegant craftsman than Arthur C. Clarke had envisioned.