Whenever the NFL Draft rolls around, we’re reminded of one of the most thought-provoking stories ever produced by the annual ritual: the 2002 saga of Richard “Big Rich” Williams. A star offensive tackle at tiny Gardner-Webb University, Williams was such a muscular force that he played himself onto the pro scouts’ radar. After a strong [...]
Entries Tagged as 'football'
The Soul-Warping Nature of Fandom
February 8th, 2010 · 10 Comments
Last night, a certain sporting event didn’t go the way we had hoped, leaving us questioning why we invest so much of ourselves in supporting certain teams. Even under the best of circumstances, such fandom leads to nothing but heartache most years, as seasons inevitably end on sour notes. Is it time, perhaps, to give [...]
Tags:ancient history·Byzantine Empire·football·Indianapolis Colts·Nika riots·sports
The Horse Gallops Onward
January 22nd, 2010 · No Comments
When it comes to sports fandom, we’re incurable pessimists—perhaps no surprise given our decades-long love affair with the most miserable franchise in the history of athletics. And so in the run-up to this Sunday’s monster Colts game, we will not dare to offer any sunny predictions about the inevitability of a Super Bowl. We’ve been [...]
The Beard of Destiny
December 14th, 2009 · 3 Comments
As is made clear in our mission statement, management reserves the right to occasionally drop the fascination with esoterica in favor of talking pro football (the American kind). Let us now invoke that right in order to discuss our beloved Indianapolis Colts, who yesterday clinched the top seed in the AFC playoffs. This accomplishment brings [...]
Tags:books·facial hair·football·Indian·Indianapolis Colts·Moby-Dick·sports
R.I.P. Barrel Man
December 9th, 2009 · 2 Comments
We’re diehard Indianapolis Colts fans, and thus tend to hate the Denver Broncos with a fiery passion normally reserved for plague rats, ex post facto laws, and Jean-Bédel Bokassa. But we’re eternally fascinated by sports fans who undergo tremendous physical discomfort in the name of supporting their side—there is something beautifully transcendent about the practice, [...]
Tags:Barrel Man·football·religion·sports
You Can’t Stop the Horse
November 16th, 2009 · 7 Comments
Late start today, due to the fact we stayed up late last night watching our beloved Colts mount a miraculous comeback against their archenemies. For the record, we think Belichick’s gamble was a good one—the Pats had been unstoppable in short-yardage situations all night, and the Colts’ D has been decimated by injuries. That said, [...]
Intelligence as Curse
October 20th, 2009 · 6 Comments
We’re headquartered on the Stanford campus this week, which has brought to mind one of our favorite football scouting reports ever: John Clayton’s strangely damning take on Kwame Harris, an All-Pac-10 offensive lineman for the Cardinal in the early part of the millennium. Clayton loved Harris’s arms, technique, and strength, but didn’t likehis head—and not [...]
Is Football Our Species’ Savior?
September 16th, 2009 · No Comments
In the course of conducting some morning research on chimpanzee cannibalism, we found ourselves absorbed in a 2006 paper that compared the aggressive tendencies of chimps and humans. (A PDF can be downloaded by clicking here.) As it turns out, humans and chimps are equally adept that cold-blooded murder, but our primate brethren are far [...]
Tags:Australia·biology·chimpanzees·football·Jane Goodall·primates·sports
(Mid)Westworld
September 10th, 2009 · 7 Comments
For the second time in less than a month, we’re off to the Land of 10,000 Lakes for a brief, work-related visit. We’ll do our best to post from the road, though we may get too caught up in ironing our shirts and watching tonight’s Titans-Steelers tilt. Oh, and if anyone can recommend a good, [...]
Carbonated Vicodin in a Can
August 20th, 2009 · No Comments
We generally shy away from Red Bull, due to a bad experience we had after consuming four cans of the stuff one night. (Suffice to say our earthly vessel did not appreciate the deluge of taurine.) But perhaps we should reconsider our aversion in light of this Winona State study. Because Red Bull may have [...]
Tags:football·medical science·Napoleon McCallum·NFL·Red Bull·sports
Farewell, Arena Football League
August 4th, 2009 · No Comments
We can’t say we ever watched more than 90 seconds of an Arena Football game, so news of the league’s imminent demise didn’t exactly make us cry hot, salty tears. But 22 years is a long time for an upstart pro-sports league to make it—the likes of the USFL could only dream of achieving such [...]
Jim Johnson and the Peter Principle
July 31st, 2009 · 2 Comments
As noted at the end of our mission statement, we reserve the right to occasionally veer away from the esoteric in favor of more mainstream topics that tickle our fancy. And so we’d like to spend a few minutes ruminating over the passing of Jim Johnson, arguably the greatest NFL defensive coordinator ever. A bold [...]
Tags:Andy Reid·Buddy Ryan·football·Jim Johnson·NFL·Peter Principle·Philadelphia Eagles
Sports Transition Fail
July 27th, 2009 · 2 Comments
In response to our recent post about Japanese tackle football, a commenter asked a salient question: I’ve always wondered if some of the high-ranking sumo wrestlers could make it in the NFL as blitzing specialists. There’s been a long history of association between football and wrestling in the US, with a lot of highschool wrestling [...]
Tags:football·Japan·Masaru Hanada·sports·sumo
“Speed Like the Wind”
July 24th, 2009 · 7 Comments
After receiving word that a team of Notre Dame pigskin alums will soon take on Japan’s national football team, we got to wondering about the uniquely American sport’s history in the Land of the Rising Sun. Our natural assumption was that it was brought over during the post-World War II occupation. But it was, in [...]
“Amorous Paranoia”
July 9th, 2009 · No Comments
The tragic death of former Tennessee Titans quarterback Steve McNair—one of the toughest competitors to ever play the position—gives us a chance to loop back to one of Microkhan’s most dicussed topics: suicide. For those who don’t already know, McNair perished in a murder-suicide perpetrated by his young girlfriend. We’ve long been morbidly fascinated with [...]
Tags:crime·football·murder-suicide·Steve McNair·suicide·Tennessee
Stepping Into a More Brutal Ring
July 2nd, 2009 · 2 Comments
We were saddened to learn of the death of Alexis “The Explosive Thin Man” Arguello, one of our all-time favorite boxers. And we were surprised to discover that just a year before his passing, Arguello had been elected the mayor of Managua. (Okay, we admit it—we don’t keep up on Nicaraguan municipal politics like we [...]
Tags:Alexis Arguello·Bill Bradley·football·George Weah·Great Sasuke·Japan·Kevin Johnson·Peter Boulware·politics·sports
Using Canned Peas to Your Advantage
June 19th, 2009 · No Comments
In keeping with last week’s Bad Movie Friday theme, we’re gonna once again focus on the thespian debut of a notorious athlete. In this case, our critical eye turns toward Brian Bosworth, the ex-Sooner star turned Bo Jackson doormat. Shortly after his pro football career came to an embarrassing end, Bosworth shifted gears and starred [...]
Tags:Bad Movie Friday·Bo Jackson·Brian Bosworth·football·movies·Outlaw Motorcycle Gangs·Stone Cold
The Mother of All TD Dances
May 13th, 2009 · 6 Comments
For reasons best left unsaid, Microkhan found himself watching Bundesliga highlights yesterday evening. Not a bad time at all, but the Germans’ post-goal celebrations really disappoint. The whole running-toward-the-crowd-with-spread-arms thing is almost wholly lacking in imagination, and does little to express the pure joy of athletic genius. This got us thinking about the celebratory dance [...]
The Madden Killer That Wasn’t
April 21st, 2009 · No Comments
Microkhan is one of the few (American) football fans who doesn’t lament the retirement of longtime TV announcer John Madden. For far too long, the noted fried-food enthusiast has filled airtime with nothing but head-thunkingly obvious comments. His typical pre-kickoff riff over the last decade has gone something like this: “To win, I think they’re [...]
Tags:business·Buster Douglas·football·games·John Madden·Mike Ditka·Sega Genesis
