This week’s installment of Bad Movie Friday brings us some serious high-concept nonsense: the 1985 Kurt Thomas vehicle Gymkata, which sought to cash in on the nation’s post-Mary Lou Retton love affair with gymnastics. And what better way than to take a slightly past-his-prime male gymnast and insert him into a limp ninja flick?
We understand that Gymkata has its share of fans, though most are likely of the ironic variety—the same crew that has raised the equally ridiculous (yet enjoyable) Roadhouse to great height of pop-cult celebration. Perhaps we’re missing something, but c’mon—how can you love an action movie that includes that most irritating of cinematic clichés, the army of axe-wielding henchmen who politely decided to attack one-at-a-time? If those toothless villagers had any sense at all, Thomas would have been lying dead at their feet within a matter of seconds. Maybe they were just too dazzled by his fluid moves on the conveniently located pommel horse. Because, obviously, every backwater Moldovan town has a pommel horse in the main square, right?
David Moles // Jul 17, 2009 at 12:57 pm
I can’t believe they managed to drag that out to two minutes.
Brendan I. Koerner // Jul 17, 2009 at 1:00 pm
@David Moles: Well, once you’ve hired the villagers, might as well use ’em. Gotta make sure that $2/day is money well spent.
Cohan // Jul 17, 2009 at 2:37 pm
For some reason I’m misremembering this as a Dudikoff vehicle.
BK, have you got any theories re: why the Hero Gymnast flees at the end of this clip? He seems to be acquitting himself pretty well against the one-at-a-time antagonists, not running out of gas, sun still out, etc. Perhaps he’s merely fetching the bo staff he’s just tossed away (why?)?
Brendan I. Koerner // Jul 17, 2009 at 2:39 pm
@Cohan: I believe he spied a floor-exercise mat on the other side of town. Or maybe a set of conveniently located rings.
Gramsci // Jul 17, 2009 at 4:41 pm
And from Gymkata’s loins sprang the excruciating “American Anthem,” available in all its awful entirety on Youtube.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xZm4GCM6WR8
Brendan I. Koerner // Jul 17, 2009 at 4:44 pm
@Gramsci: Directed by the guy who did “Purple Rain”! Guess the formula doesn’t work quite as well when your lead is Mitch Gaylord sted. of Prince.
Gramsci // Jul 17, 2009 at 8:14 pm
And Apollonia 6 isn’t on floor exercise. Topless.